Today is Our Last Anniversary

June will be December
2 will have 24 more
7 years will go back to nil
And count from there to hopefully more years.

Harder it might be
Tears - more to flow maybe
But smiles and laughter I see
Everlasting lovers we pray to be.

Happy anniversary "honey me"!

photo taken by my friend Borj: One Bermuda Sunday

It's easy not to work hard.

Having been together for almost seven years now, Chad and I get to the point that it's at times easier to be indifferent of the other rather than ask, "what's wrong?". For instance, when I think I did nothing wrong, even though I feel that he's not okay with something (which I do not know what or... let's say I have a hint, but do not want to confirm it, just to avoid the argument), I'd rather be silent about it, and try to act as if everything's normal. A world of make believe could be better than to confront the truth.

Certainly, that's not what we were taught in the pre-marriage course. I still remember the facilitators highlighting COMMUNICATION as the most important ingredient of a lasting relationship. And I still remember them saying it's not gonna be easy... it's real work... it's hard work.

They say experience is the best teacher... Bingo! Now I am starting to get a bird's eye view of what hard work means. Who knows what more awaits us in the long journey we're about to take...
photo: Random bride and groom at Smith's Bay... taken by my friend Alveen

Marriage Preparation (Part II)

Chad and I completed the second phase of the Marriage Preparation Course that we enrolled into. This time, it's a teaching session (with interview) with a priest. Realized there's much to learn and that however easy it is to hear/imagine the theories, it's always not effortless to put them into practice.

Here's to share some rules and tools for a Great Marriage:

1. Make your spouse a priority
2. Accept differences
3. Listen
   
4. Compliment daily
5. Work as a team
6. Mind your manners (this could be hard when you are already very comfortable with each other)
   
7. Watch less TV (now I am guilty!!!!)
8. Find time for fun
9. Do the little things (this is really effective for all relationships)
10. Think positive
11. Fight fair and look for the win-win situation
12. Forgive
13. God to bed at the same time
14. Develop mutual friends
15. Date
16. Pray together

Read #13.

Fr. Joe (the priest) asked me to read it twice, and I was mistaken... twice!!!
I wouldn't want you to ever miss that in your relationships the way that I did!

Chad and I: Are we compatible?

I took this test and I must say, the results were actually better than I expected. Probably because even at the early stage of our relationship, most people do not think we will make it through. I thought, why would this test be any different?

Big Five Compatibility Test Extroversion |||||||||||||| 60% |||||| 24% Friendliness |||||||||||| 50% |||||||||| 32% Orderliness |||||||||||||| 58% |||||||||||||||||||| 86% Emotional Stability |||||||||||| 48% |||||||||| 40% Openmindedness |||||||||| 34% |||||||||| 36% scale key - you |||||| them |||||| Your overall similarity is 69%. Your overall complementarity is 63%.

Take Free Big Five Compatibility Test

Agree or Disagree? (A Quiz)

Last Wednesday in the premarriage course, Chad and I were asked to complete the quiz below. We thought we have already talked about most things in our relationship. And yet we still had some doubts whether the other answered the same (or not) in some of the questions.

For couples, I suggest you both take this quiz and share your answers with your partner. For singles who are looking for love, read on, and find out what you should be considering when you look for a partner.

There are no correct or wrong answers in this quiz. The idea is to realize what your values are, and if they are in line with your partner's, if you have one yet. Just write down whether you Agree (A) or Disagree (D) with the below statements.

1. I want to have a bank account under my own name, apart from me and my partner's joint account.
2. We will divide household chores equally.
3. My partner may have a regular night out.
4. It does not matter whether he/she makes more money since it's all ours anyway.
5. All our friends should be mutual friends.
6. It is okay to make friends of opposite gender.
7. Free time and space are important for me.
8. We should make specific time for each other's family.
9. We each have an equal say in when and how many times I/she concieve(s) a child.
10. When we get married, it's like marrying his/her family too.
11. It is not important that we attend religious services regularly.
12. It is okay for him/her to make a major purchase without consulting me.
13. Whoever pays for the wedding should have the final approval of all wedding plans.
14. The importance of my job is not measured by the amount of money I earn.

Formula for Marriage

We are about 30 couples who attended the pre-marriage course last Wednesday. We were tasked to identify what we think are the three most important elements of marriage. The most number of votes were:

1. Trust

2. Respect

3. Communication

And the instructors said, these answers always come up from each group year after year.

Wedding Preparation

My boyfriend Chad and I enrolled ourselves in a marriage preparation course: A Marriage in the Lord - For a Lifelong Marriage. We would be attending a classroom session for four Wednesdays (should have been five; we enrolled late). I thought I'd share with you some insights from the course.

PEPP is the acronym to remember. These are what's important in marriage.

Primacy - While not married yet, I can say I might have been guilty of not putting my future marriage over any other relationship. It is taught (and I am certain it is just but right), that marriage is a primary relationship.

Empowerment - I have heard and I know a few couples who keep dating after being married for years. One of my soon-to-be Ninong (i.e. wedding sponsor) even celebrates monthsaries (as with anniversaries) with his wife. Some couples do stuff together: like sports, arts, etc.

Protection- Who else are expected to protect the marriage but the husband and the wife. Each of them may be faced with problems and pressures from various sources, including friends and family from both sides. It is said that for a marriage to succeed, it should remain the most important relationship in their lives.

Prayer - God's help is a must for building a good marriage. My mom always says that we should put God in the center of our relationship.

I am sure it is very easy to forget the above, especially when one is caught up with other tasks and responsibilities in his/her life. So while I can, I would repeat and repeat and repeat this to myself... and hope that I be reminded as I go along.

PEPP... PEPP... PEPP...