Confession

I have been a bad, really bad blogger.
And to not promise to keep posting going forward...
I am a bad, really bad blogger.

I have been a stranger to my own blog
I never realized it is just 55 days before my wedding
I have not been counting
I have been so busy with small things for the big day!

I have been a bad, really bad reader.
And to think I made a pact to read more this year.
Now it's just a few days before the next year starts.
Let me guess, I will make the same old pact again.

A lot more to confess. A lot more to share.
Too bad I had been keeping them to myself lately.

Meeting John

Thought yesterday (Saturday) would be the usual one. Get up lazily, prepare breakfast for Chad and myself, watch the morning news, kill time at home or go to town for some shopping (normally window shopping, that is!), go to church and walk back home. Well, yesterday was typical, until I get tired of walking along town, and Chad said we could use some "aircon" at the national library while resting our feet. So we did!

I grabbed a book, which I did not intend to finish anyway; it's 4:30PM and the library's almost closing. I looked back and there was Chad, comfortably sitting in an upholstered back chair, already starting to read the daily newspaper. I sat in a couch opposite him, and started reading... thinking, we should do this more often.

It was almost five when a few elders sitting at the readers' area started to pack, and an old folk suddenly talked to Chad, asking him a question and then more, about where he came from, what he's doing in the island, and did I say, more! They were chatting even when we were outside the library (and naturally, I was dragged into the conversation as well). There he was, John, proudly talking about his dancing talent, and how this made him travel to various parts of the world, including the Philippines, where he met one of his wives (yeah! one of two according to him). It was a fun talk that we had, from places and personalities in the Philippines to rental fees here in Bermuda. He could be forgetful once in a while, asking Chad if he is from Hong Kong or China, saying that the Chinese are the smartest people he ever knew. We separated agreeing that in case Chad and I drop by the library next time, we'll teach him with his laptop. He said he goes to the library everyday to learn to use the computer and the internet. And it's giving him headaches all the time. Hehehe... Mind you, I commend the man... he is 60++ years old and still very eager to learn! And I bet it's not easy to ride the bus from St. Georges to Hamilton, with a laptop in a bag at your back when you're that aged.

Yesterday was no ordinary day to me. I could use much and much inspiration. Who knows what more awaits me if I go to the library more often. Besides, I am only at page 15 of that book!

It's easy not to work hard.

Having been together for almost seven years now, Chad and I get to the point that it's at times easier to be indifferent of the other rather than ask, "what's wrong?". For instance, when I think I did nothing wrong, even though I feel that he's not okay with something (which I do not know what or... let's say I have a hint, but do not want to confirm it, just to avoid the argument), I'd rather be silent about it, and try to act as if everything's normal. A world of make believe could be better than to confront the truth.

Certainly, that's not what we were taught in the pre-marriage course. I still remember the facilitators highlighting COMMUNICATION as the most important ingredient of a lasting relationship. And I still remember them saying it's not gonna be easy... it's real work... it's hard work.

They say experience is the best teacher... Bingo! Now I am starting to get a bird's eye view of what hard work means. Who knows what more awaits us in the long journey we're about to take...
photo: Random bride and groom at Smith's Bay... taken by my friend Alveen

Another Prayer Answered

The dilemma was to decide between to options of minimal cost difference. But the prayer was answered in a different way. We found another studio apartment for a much lower cost, in a place nearer to town than our current home. The studio has partitions as well, and just enough for me and Chad. We will likely be moving in by the first of July. =D

Loving my surroundings

Enjoying the textures...
from cement...


to soil....

to sand.
Enjoying the sounds...
of traffic...
of animals...

and of waves.

Marriage Preparation (Part II)

Chad and I completed the second phase of the Marriage Preparation Course that we enrolled into. This time, it's a teaching session (with interview) with a priest. Realized there's much to learn and that however easy it is to hear/imagine the theories, it's always not effortless to put them into practice.

Here's to share some rules and tools for a Great Marriage:

1. Make your spouse a priority
2. Accept differences
3. Listen
   
4. Compliment daily
5. Work as a team
6. Mind your manners (this could be hard when you are already very comfortable with each other)
   
7. Watch less TV (now I am guilty!!!!)
8. Find time for fun
9. Do the little things (this is really effective for all relationships)
10. Think positive
11. Fight fair and look for the win-win situation
12. Forgive
13. God to bed at the same time
14. Develop mutual friends
15. Date
16. Pray together

Read #13.

Fr. Joe (the priest) asked me to read it twice, and I was mistaken... twice!!!
I wouldn't want you to ever miss that in your relationships the way that I did!

A Meaningful Lent

Palm Sunday in the Philippines is much celebrated. Palm leaf making has even become an art. Various designs have come up over the years. Palm leaves are normally sold at the front of the church before the mass. Prices vary as the designs do. I missed home more when I saw these pictures in Flicker.

Palm Sunday here in Bermuda is celebrated too. Only, palm leaves are not sold but given by the church to church-goers. There is not much art as you would see in the picture below.

I found myself reflecting on those extravagant palm leaves. Is it necessary to show my artistic side when I bring one to church? How do I relate this with my life's choices, with my preferences, during Lent or otherwise? Do I realize simplicity as beauty or do I go into status symbols and the likes?

With this ever changing and demanding world that we have now, there's much to think about this Lenten season. May we all have a meaningful one.

Change is everywhere

1. Bermuda has changed.
Before leaving home this morning Chad said in a text message that I shall call a cab as the buses were not running still. Luckily for him, he was offered a ride to town by a local. I was hoping to get the same - a free ride - so I waited for awhile at the bus stop. A van stopped by and the good driver invited me in. Inside were two old ladies who appear to be "picked up" as well. So I got in and off we went.

The old ladies were talking about old Bermuda. How people in cars used to offer rides to those waiting at bus stops, if they are all going to the same area. They said, this rarely happens nowadays. And that they commend our good driver for showing that there are still people living up to the old Bermuda way.

And these ladies were right. Things changed here. Jorge, one of my officemates, was offered a ride by a local, too. Only, it cost him $6. All of them who were picked up were charged by their driver. And their trip was not continuous as the driver stopped by the hospital area to wait for more "hitchers".

2. Working hours have changed.
Since last week, my teammates leave the office no later than 7PM. With this week being our reporting week to the client, no later than 7PM is pretty early. Supervisor Scottie (who used to be the earliest comer and the latest goer) now arrives every morning almost exactly on time (10AM) and leaves right before we all do. When asked, he said, that's the new office culture. I'd love that if it's true!

3. The landlord has changed.
Summer is almost here. Last Sunday was a fine day for swimming and since Chad is not much into beach water, we could have enjoyed the pool here in our apartment. Only if it was clean for swimming. But the Landlord has not been cleaning it for sometime now. To add to the tall grasses, busted water pump and walkway lights. I have not seen him visit in a number of weeks; contrary to almost twice a week visits when he and his family first bought the apartments from our previous landlords.

3. I am changing.
I wish I could say I have changed. But I am still working on it.

Tonight, I turned the office lights off. Meaning, I was the last person to go out. Considering I was one of those who got there early, I am not doing very good in trying - trying to stop being very task-oriented. To the point of working like there's no tomorrow (or the next working day). I always want to get things done. To the point of forgetting what my real priorities are.

I realized a few months ago that my being very task-oriented does not always work for my benefit. And that's the reason I have to learn how and when to stop. To keep in mind my priorities... which are not necessarily my tasks.

I was asked by my manager if I am working tomorrow. I could not believe I heard me burst "it's Good Friday for God's sake!". I explained to her that it is my Lenten sacrifice - to not work while I want to. She thought I was being funny. Guess she does not know me enough.

See, I am changing.

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Good or bad, change is everywhere. How's it been there for you?

Faint Pleasance

What is the color of the sea?
Is it blue like the sky?
Or blue green?
Is it dark as the night?
Bright as sunshine?

What is the sound of laughter like?
How long does a real one last?
Why are the eyes passionless?
Shedding sorrow, sadness...
Are they real windows to the soul?

Play, sing and dance, should one?
Drink, stop at no chance.
Enjoy the night, have fun.
Go laugh and wear the mask...
Enjoy the show from dawn to dusk?

Title

Took me sometime to come up with the title for this blog. I initially planned to copy the title of my other blog, but realized I should make this one different. My original choice was just "green"... certainly it was taken... then i thought, how about "greenest"... again, that's not available... then there was "my garden", "my green garden" and am sure you can guess i can't have them, too. so i ended up with this one; not that i don't like it... it's just not as simple as i want the title to be.

So why green? Don't think too much 'cause I didn't. I thought of things I like... so there, green! Yes, it's that simple, the color green!

Growing up, I always liked that color. I was in high school when I changed to "blue". Then in college, I didn't have a favorite color at all, but I liked red, black, etc. But since forever, I always loved trees when I see them. It was only recently when I finally realized that I love looking at trees because I like their color!

But why garden? Well, aside from the fact that I had to add that word (as I was deprived of my planned one-word-title), it has a little bit of personal touch, too. My real name is like a garden. And so much that gardens are normally green!

Now how I love this blog's title! Oh so mine! And so me!

How did you name your blog? If you don't have one yet, you always have a choice. And if you choose to blog, what would you title it?